Topics Discussed:
- What is Sexuality?
- The various types of Sexualities
- Understanding and defining your own sexuality
- Safety First! How to explore your sexuality safely and respectfully
- Learn from those who came before! (wink wink) - Educating yourself about diverse sexual orientations
Hey there, wanderer! If you’ve found yourself here, browsing this article on How to navigate and define your sexuality, chances are you’re not someone who has figured it all out yet, and we’re here to tell you - Join the club!
Millions of people wake up feeling not quite certain about their sexual preferences every day. At Libertee, we champion sexual wellness and encourage you to explore your sexuality at your own pace. Whether you're seeking self-discovery through a sensual massager like Luna or seeking guidance from a qualified sexologist, we're here to support you on your journey.
So, we sat down with Dr. Vidhi Modi, a renowned sexologist and adolescent and child psychiatrist in Gota, Ahmedabad with 12 years of experience helping patients navigate their sexualities.
Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-tank-top-lying-on-bed-4980381/
What is Sexuality?
“Defining sexuality would be counterintuitive, because sexuality is fluid and subjective,” says Dr. Vidhi. “But to simplify it, sexuality is simply how you, the individual chooses to express your sexual feelings, whether emotional, physical, social, psychological, or in some belief systems, even spiritual.
Your sexuality is diverse and ever-changing, but most importantly, it is what’s true to your emotions and makes you happy.”
There we have it! Sexuality is as simple as which direction your sexual feelings lead you in. And before you ask, yes, asexuals too fall under this definition. After all, an emotional attraction is always a major turn on!
The Various Types of Sexualities
In 2024, sexualities simply cannot be covered under two or three traditional terms. In fact, Healthline proclaims that there are an astonishing 47 sexualities today, with more found every day!
Great, now I’m gonna be even more confused”. If that thought popped into your head, don’t worry, we broke them down into nice digestible cookies for your brain.
“There are traditionally four well-understood sexualities, being heterosexuality (attraction to the opposite gender), homosexuality (attraction to the same gender), bisexuality (attraction to both genders), and asexual (attraction to none of the genders),” Dr. Vidhi explains.
“But these four could barely scratch the surface. Many genders apart from male and female exist out there, meaning these terms don’t necessarily cover all the possible scenarios!”
“Let's assume you’re a woman who is pretty direct with other women, that would make you lesbian. Maybe your matters of the heart don’t concern genders, which would make you a pansexual. Perhaps, you’ve got specific tastes in partners and you only feel an attraction to transgender or non-binary people (yes, there’s a term for that too!), which makes you Allotroposexual.”
And it doesn’t end there, Dr. Vidhi could write a book on these, so we decided to do the next best thing and make this visual graphic for you to run through and understand all the different sexuality terms in the dictionary.
And hey, if you still feel that these terms don’t cover your specific preferences, go ahead and coin your own special term - cause you deserve it! (“Liberteesexual” has a nice ring to it!)
Photo by Ennie Horvath: https://www.pexels.com/photo/anonymous-woman-with-rainbow-light-on-face-3867210/
Understanding and defining your own sexuality
Dr. Vidhi explains that fully grasping your sexuality simply cannot happen over a hot cup of joe. It is a long and endearing process of self-reflection and self-acceptance.
Something as small as an NSFW (Not Safe For Work) dream about that one hot same-sex coworker could throw your rigid sexual preferences out of the loop and send your mind into a state of perceived sexual curiosity.
Sexuality is a journey of self-discovery. It's fluid and ever-changing, much like exploring different sensations with a massager. The only real way to define yours is to understand your feelings & express them with close ones, to begin with. If you feel your sexual priorities changing in your relationship, an awkward yet healthy conversation with your partner in the short run will save both parties a lot of heartbreak in the long run. Remember, be true to yourself.
In contrast, what if you developed sexual tendencies that you have no way of confirming? “‘I’m straight but I also feel bicurious, how do I confirm this?’ is a question I often get.” Dr. Vidhi exclaims. “The good news is, you don’t have to jump into bed with someone to confirm your curiosities. In this case, one may utilize dating platforms or online communities to reach out to same - sex people willing to talk to you or go out with you. Interact with people you might find attractive and check if you can see yourself with them romantically. Dip your toes into the water, try a new sensual experience, or explore different types of touch with a massager. There's no need to rush the process of self-discovery.”
Photo by Ivan Samkov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-coat-standing-beside-woman-in-white-floral-lace-long-sleeve-dress-6437341/
Are you perpetually confused about your sexuality and need a guiding hand? Read our previous article on “Gay, Cis, or Somewhere else? Our Sexologist Breaks It Down,” where Dr. Vidhi breaks down in detail the resources one can use to safely explore their own sexuality!
How to educate yourself about diverse sexual orientations
Finding resources for oneself can be tough, but the internet always comes through! Take our blog, for instance! Libertee and hundreds of other online forums are always willing to educate people and answer their questions. Here are some other Indian blogs (home team!) that conduct workshops and design online resources to educate their audience and address sex and sexuality misconceptions.
- The Gay Gaze: A vibrant Mumbai - based community hosting queer meetups, events, mental health communities and treks!
- LGBT Mumbai: An advocate for the Human rights of LGBTQIAPD+ individuals in India. LGBT Mumbai serves as a support system for those who are victims of inequality and hate culture.
- The Humsafar Trust: One of India’s oldest organisations that has been advocating for the rights and the health of LGBTQ+ individuals in India since 1993. They’re well known for active meetups, legal support, and psychological relief for members.
- Sappho for Equality: Since its inception, this youth organization from Kolkata has been working day and night to promote equality of choices for Indian residents. They actively enlighten people through their Digital Archive for LGBTQ+ Information and Learning (DALIL).
- Mist Foundation: Initially an online platform, Mist is a Pune-based collective teaching sexual awareness, safe sex, sexuality exploration, and more!
Educate yourself and those in your circle. The more informed you are, the better. You can hit up our query forum and drop your questions there!
If you have deeper concerns that you are unable to navigate, reach out to professional psychiatrists or sexologists near you or through online platforms! You can book an online consultation through Dr. Vidhi Modi on Practo, where she openly addresses your burning questions in a no - shame, no - guilt environment!
Stay sexy wanderers, and be true to yourself!