Initiative: Aftercare
Expert: Dr. Ooha Susmita
BDSM has become more visible and accepted in recent years, but some of its most vital components remain under-discussed. One of them? Aftercare.
Aftercare is the emotional and physical support given after a scene, especially for the submissive (or "sub"). While it can look different for every person, its goal is the same: helping both partners, especially the sub, transition back into emotional safety and stability.
We spoke with Bangalore-based psychiatrist and sexologist Dr. Ooha Susmita to unpack what sub-aftercare involves and why it matters.
What is sub aftercare and why is it essential?
"During a BDSM scene, particularly one involving power play, the submissive can often enter an altered psychological state called 'subspace,'" explains Dr. Ooha. "It can feel euphoric, liberating, or intense. But once the scene ends, many people experience what we call a 'drop' — a crash in emotional or physical energy. That’s where aftercare comes in."
"Aftercare is what helps soothe the nervous system, rebuild trust, and close the loop on the emotional intensity of the scene," she says. "Without it, some subs can feel abandoned, anxious, or emotionally raw."
What can aftercare look like?
"There is no one-size-fits-all model," Dr. Ooha adds. "But some common elements include:
- Gentle touch: Cuddling, stroking, holding hands
- Reassurance: Verbal affirmations, checking in emotionally
- Comfort: Wrapping someone in a blanket, offering water or chocolate
- Space: For some, being left alone for a while can be healing
The key is communication. You need to talk about what your sub wants and needs before the scene."
What if you're new to BDSM and not sure what you need?
"Start small," advises Dr. Ooha. "After your scene, do a check-in. Ask, 'How are you feeling?' 'Do you want to be held or left alone?' Over time, you'll figure out a rhythm that works."
She also points out that mental aftercare can last longer than just a few hours. "Some subs feel vulnerable or emotional for a day or two after a particularly intense session. That’s normal. It helps to keep communication open for 24-48 hours post-scene."
What should doms keep in mind?
"Dominants have a responsibility here," Dr. Ooha explains. "It’s not just about play. It’s about care. Being a good dom means staying attuned to your partner’s emotional state, and offering continued support."
"Even if the sub says they're okay, check in again the next day. Being proactive about aftercare deepens trust and makes future scenes safer and more satisfying
Can self-pleasure or massagers be part of aftercare?
"Absolutely. For some, physical release helps ease the emotional drop. Solo aftercare can include masturbation, warm baths, or using personal massagers such as what Libertee offers-body-safe and beginner-friendly, they can offer a soft, sensory way to reconnect with yourself post-scene."
Libertee says “Aftercare shouldn’t be a luxury!”
Aftercare is not a luxury — it’s essential. Whether you’re a sub, a dom, or just exploring the world of BDSM, understanding how to come back to emotional safety is what makes play truly consensual and caring.
To book a personal appointment (offline/online) with Dr. Susmita, click here.