“Why can’t I have sex?”
“Why is my partner unable to penetrate my vagina?”
“Is this going to affect my relationship? Will I be able to have sex?”
“Is there something wrong with me?”
A million thoughts must be going through your head right now. Penis or tampon insertion is just not happening. And, every time you try any form of penetration, you might be experiencing some burning sensations down there as well, or sharp, shooting pains.
You’re most likely experiencing an involuntary tightening of your pelvic muscles (the ones down there), a condition called Vaginismus. It’s scary. Might be scary for your partner too. But do not worry. We’re here to tell you that it’s more common than you think! And, according to our expert, "partially or fully reversible in most cases”
We talked to Bangalore-based renowned Sexologist and Psychiatrist, Dr. Ooha Susmita (MBBS, M.D. Psychiatry), and asked her about the most common symptoms and concerns we hear about this condition. Dr. Susmita has been in the field for nearly half a decade, answers the following questions:
- Is Vaginismus fully curable? Can I cure it at home?
- How do you identify and diagnose Vaginismus?
- Can my sex life be normal? Will I be able to have sex?
- How common is Vaginismus?
- Are there any Indian doctors that help with Vaginismus?
She introduces first her experiences with patients suffering from vaginismus.
“Patients are definitely distressed the first time they come in”, she says. “It’s difficult for them to talk about this, given that sexual wellness is still considered taboo in many parts of the country. First, I let them know that they’re in a safe space. They can talk about all the symptoms they’re facing. Next, I comfort them. I let them know that they're not alone, and that there’s more than one way to cure vaginismus.”
Is Vaginismus fully curable? Can I cure it at home?
Answer: Yes, Vaginismus is treatable, and a lot of patients actually achieve a full recovery.” Dr. Susmita explains. “While many aspects of treatment can be done at home, it is best to see a sexologist or gynaecologist first, so that your treatment plan is tailored to all the symptoms you are facing.
Here are a couple of home treatments I can recommend to cure vaginismus:
- Pelvic floor physical therapy
- Use of Vaginal Dilators or Vibrators of different sizes
- Relaxation techniques
- Topical anesthetic agents for local application
- Tips for Vaginismus-friendly intercourse
How do you identify and diagnose Vaginismus?
Answer: The evaluation process is not necessarily long, but it is comprehensive. I check the patient’s medical and sexual history, relationship dynamics, and understand potential psychological barriers. As much as they are comfortable sharing.
Vaginismus can be primary (never experienced penetration) and secondary (was able to have penetrative sex before, but not anymore).
In some cases, a gentle pelvic examination is required, where we detect muscle spasms and narrow down on the causes of pain. When it is, I usually recommend patients see a gynecologist first, to rule out any structural or organic cause before diagnosing Vaginismus.
Sometimes, the cause is as simple as fear of penetration. While other times, the causes are strictly physical, such as vaginal infections, dryness (which can be solved with something as simple as lubrication) or hormonal changes. Often, it is a mix of both physical and psychological reasons.
Question: Can my sex life be normal? Will I be able to have sex again?
Answer: It most definitely can, and will, with the right treatment and support! One thing I always tell my patients is to “Loop your partner in.” In fact, your partner’s support can make the whole process much, much faster!
That’s why I encourage patients to bring in their partners for a therapy session. It helps. Your partner will gain knowledge about the condition and will understand the treatments and best practices.
How common is Vaginismus?
Answer: Vaginismus is very common. According to the Indian Journal of Psychiatry in 2018, approximately 9% of sexually active women in India reported experiencing various degrees of Vaginismus. A study in the Journal of South Asian Federation of Obstetrics and Gynaecology suggested that 13% of women ages 20-35 experience Vaginismus.
However, we need to keep in mind the cultural context here. Pain during sex is considered a matter of fact in many cultures for women. So, the numbers we see reported are only the tip of the iceberg.
Another point pertaining to the ubiquity of vaginismus is the definition of penetrative intercourse.
It’s complicated. Really complicated. It’s basically the insertion of a foreign body (the male penis) into a body cavity (the female vagina). If we look at it that way, we realise how logical the body’s reaction is, to tighten or clench its muscles- it’s a reflex which has to be counterbalanced by the arousal mechanism.
Are there any Indian doctors that help with Vaginismus?
Answer: Many. Luckily, solo practitioners and sexology clinics have popped up all around Bangalore and other cities. People should feel no shame in being sexually active and healthy, with a community around them to reinforce awareness, help and normalcy.
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Dr. Susmita runs her clinic out of Koramangala, Bangalore. But even if you don’t have access to facilities around you, you can always opt for an online consultation! We’ll link her website and Practo right here, feel free to ask her any “awkward” questions you have!
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